I'm reading this wonderful frightening book about the love of God. It really makes me feel like I've been going about life all wrong and I'm missing something major. I came across a phrase in the book that stuck with me: "Created by God, for God" I was created by God for the glory of God. Me..... I'm a part of his plan. I'm a brief sentence in his story (maybe not even a sentence!) This life is not mine.... it's not about me AT ALL. I heard all of this growing up in church, but I think it never fully hits us... we don't get it, especially the way this world is now. It's all about "me, me me!" What do I gain? How much money can I get? I'm really trying to change my perceptive. This is a very scary thing... to be challenged to changed every thing you thought or the way you were living. This isn't "Oh, I'm just have to read my Bible more." NO... this is everything... I'm called to be something great in God's story... I'm called to not be luke warm. It's going to be a long bumpy road with trials and failure... but I just got to keep growing.
Once, I was upset about my walk with God and I was telling my Uncle and mom about it. I told them that I felt like any time I took one step closer to God, it would feel like soon after I would fail/sin and take 3 steps backwards. What my uncle illustrated to me then still sticks with me today. With his hand he drew a wave shape incline on the wall. He said it may feel like you are going backwards, but your trials/ your mistake all make you stronger and bring you closer to God.
| "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us--they help us learn to endure. Romans 5:3" |
Recently, I've been trying to come to God first through prayer with any decision I have to make. I desire to be in God's will and make right choices. Recently, I found myself suddenly in a situation that forced me to make a major decision. I struggled with what's best for everyone involved. I flip flopped 50 times those two days with what could work and what would be best. I didn't understand why, yet again, it seemed like I had to make a choice that effected other people.... other people I'm close too.... other people I love. I don't want to be in that place. I'm one who hates making tough decisions. I like following way more than leading. The added pressure of people waiting for you to decide their fate is awful. I care alot for people especially people who are close to me. I often bite my tongue or stick it out if it would save them from hurt or awkwardness. I feel like God answered my prayer for guidance.... because I wouldn't have been able to make a decision without a certain event that took place later that day. Sometimes you have to hurt the ones you love. You hate doing it, but you know it's for the best. That's exactly what God does to us..... sometimes he let's hurt come our way. It's painful and we think "why is this happening?!?!" But soooo much good comes out of it.
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33
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